Acceptance of Anxiety

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Acceptance of anxiety is a concept that often runs counter to our instincts. In a society that values productivity, success, and a constant state of well-being, experiencing anxiety can feel like a personal failure or weakness. However, true acceptance of anxiety involves acknowledging it as a normal part of the human experience rather than something to be eliminated or suppressed. It's about recognizing that anxiety serves a purpose – it can be a signal that something important needs our attention or that we're facing a challenge that requires the mobilization of our resources. Moreover, accepting anxiety doesn't mean resigning ourselves to a life of perpetual distress. Instead, it involves cultivating a compassionate and non-judgmental attitude toward our own emotional experiences. When we accept our anxiety without judgment, we create space for self-compassion and understanding. We recognize that it's okay to feel anxious and that our emotional struggles do not diminish our worth. Acceptance of anxiety can also involve learning to sit with discomfort without trying to escape or avoid it.

The Therapeutic Attitude of Acceptance of Anxiety

The therapeutic attitude of acceptance of anxiety in clients represents a pivotal shift in how mental health professionals approach the treatment of anxiety disorders. Rather than viewing anxiety as something to be eradicated or suppressed, therapists adopting this approach acknowledge and validate the patient's experience of anxiety without judgment or criticism. In practice, therapists employing acceptance of anxiety encourage clients to recognize and accept their anxious thoughts and sensations without attempting to control or avoid them. Instead of viewing anxiety as inherently harmful, clients learn to observe their anxious experiences with curiosity and openness, allowing them to develop a more compassionate relationship with their own emotions.

  • Mindful Approach to Accept Anxiety

    Approaching anxiety mindfully in a therapeutic setting involves a holistic and compassionate approach that integrates mindfulness techniques with therapeutic interventions. Therapists aim to help clients develop a deeper awareness of their thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations associated with anxiety while cultivating non-judgmental acceptance and self-compassion. One key aspect of mindfulness-based therapy for anxiety is encouraging clients to observe their anxious thoughts and bodily sensations without reacting to them. By cultivating a stance of non-judgmental awareness, individuals can learn to recognize the transient nature of their anxious experiences and develop a greater sense of psychological flexibility (Kabat-Zinn, 1990).

  • The Role of Therapist and Embracing Anxiety

    In therapeutic settings, the role of the therapist is multifaceted, involving empathy, guidance, and creating a safe space for the patient to explore their anxiety. Firstly, the therapist serves as a compassionate listener, offering a non-judgmental environment where the patient feels comfortable expressing their feelings of anxiety. By actively listening and empathizing, the therapist validates the patient's experiences, helping them feel understood and accepted. This validation can be empowering for the patient, as it reduces feelings of isolation and shame often associated with anxiety. Moreover, the therapist helps the patient understand that anxiety is a natural human response to stress and perceived threats (Wegner et al., 1997). By normalizing anxiety, the therapist helps the patient recognize that it is not something to be feared or avoided but rather something to be understood and managed. This shift in perspective can reduce the intensity of the anxiety itself, as the patient learns to view it as a manageable aspect of their experience rather than a debilitating condition.

    Through regular practice, the patient learns to distance themselves from their anxiety, viewing it from a more objective standpoint rather than becoming consumed by it. Furthermore, the therapist collaborates with the patient to identify and challenge unhelpful thought patterns and behaviors that contribute to their anxiety. The therapist helps the patient develop more adaptive coping strategies and gradually confront feared situations or stimuli (Wegner et al., 1997). This process can be challenging and uncomfortable, but the therapist provides guidance and support every step of the way, empowering the patient to gradually expand their comfort zone and regain a sense of control over their anxiety.

Teaching Metaphors

Using metaphors can be a powerful tool in therapy, especially when working with clients who are struggling to accept their anxiety. Metaphors can help clients understand complex concepts in a more relatable and digestible way. Here are some metaphors you can use to help clients accept their anxiety:

  • 1. Bug on a Windshield:

    Imagine your anxiety is like a bug hitting the windshield of your car. At first, it might seem big and overwhelming, splattering across your vision. But as you keep driving, you notice that the bug gets smaller and smaller in your rearview mirror until it eventually disappears altogether. Just like this bug, your anxiety may feel intense in the moment, but it will diminish as you continue to move forward.

  • 2. Headache:

    Think of your anxiety as a headache. When you have a headache, it's uncomfortable and distracting, but it's not permanent. Just like taking a pain reliever can help alleviate a headache, there are techniques we can use to manage and reduce your anxiety.

  • 3. Float:

    Imagine yourself floating in a pool of water, with your anxiety floating alongside you. Instead of trying to push it away or fight against it, allow yourself to float with it. Notice how it ebbs and flows, just like the water around you. By accepting its presence, you can learn to coexist with your anxiety without letting it control you.

  • 4. Watching Anxiety Pass:

    Picture yourself sitting by a river, watching leaves float by on the water. Each leaf represents a thought or feeling of anxiety. Rather than trying to grab onto them or stop them from flowing, simply observe them as they pass by. Just like the river keeps flowing, your anxiety will come and go.

  • 5. Picture in a Picture:

    Imagine your anxiety as a small picture-in-picture screen on your TV. It's there in the corner of the screen, but it's not the main focus of what you're watching. You can acknowledge its presence without letting it overshadow the rest of your life.

  • 6. Pop-ups on a Computer:

    Think of your anxious thoughts as pop-up windows on a computer screen. Instead of clicking on each one and giving it attention, simply close the window and move on with what you are doing. Just like pop-ups eventually disappear, your anxious thoughts will lose their power when you don't engage with them.

  • 7. Kids Fighting in the Rear Seat:

    Imagine your anxious thoughts as two kids fighting in the back seat of a car. You're the driver, and while you can hear them bickering, you don't need to get involved in their argument. Keep your focus on the road ahead, knowing that the fighting will eventually stop.

  • 8. The Anxiety Channel:

    Think of your mind as a TV with different channels. Sometimes, it gets stuck on the anxiety channel, where all you can see and hear are worries and fears. But just like changing the channel on a TV remote, you have the power to shift your focus away from anxiety and onto something more positive.

  • 9. Allow the Ant:

    Imagine a tiny ant crawling on your hand. Instead of immediately brushing it away, take a moment to observe it. Allow it to wander around for a bit before gently letting it go. Similarly, allow yourself to experience moments of anxiety without trying to resist or control them. Like the ants, they will eventually pass.

  • 10. Anxious Arousal as a Gust of Wind:

    Think of your anxiety as a gust of wind blowing through the trees. At first, it might feel strong and overwhelming, but it's just a temporary sensation. Eventually, the wind will calm down, and you'll be left with a sense of peace. Similarly, your anxious arousal will subside, and you'll return to a state of calmness.

Essential Elements to the Therapeutic Attitude of Acceptance

The therapeutic attitude of acceptance of anxiety incorporates four essential elements aimed at helping clients acknowledge and work through their anxiety rather than trying to suppress or avoid it. Here's a breakdown of these elements:

  • 1. Expect Anxiety:

    Recognize that anxiety is a normal and natural part of life. Rather than viewing it as something abnormal or to be feared, expect that anxiety will arise in various situations.

  • 2. Label Fearful Distress as Anxiety:

    Encourage clients to identify and label their anxious thoughts and feelings accurately. By acknowledging and labeling anxiety, clients can begin to understand it better and develop strategies for managing it.

  • 3. Surrender the Struggle:

    Instead of resisting or fighting against anxiety, clients surrender to it. This doesn't mean giving in to anxiety completely but rather letting go of the need to control or suppress it. By surrendering the struggle, clients can reduce the power that anxiety holds over them (Forsyth & Eifert, 2016).

  • 4. Actively Allow Anxiety:

    Encourage clients to actively allow themselves to experience anxiety without judgment or self-criticism. This involves adopting an attitude of openness and curiosity toward anxiety rather than trying to avoid or escape from it (Twohig et al., 2006).

Ultimately, acceptance of anxiety is a journey rather than a destination. It requires patience, self-compassion, and a willingness to embrace vulnerability. By acknowledging and honoring our anxiety, we can cultivate greater resilience, authenticity, and inner peace.


Ms Chua Kah Lin have been trained in several therapeutic approaches including Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), Schema Therapy and Compassion Focused Therapy (CFT). Guided by these approaches, she have worked many years with clients who suffer with conditions such as Anxiety, fears, phobias, Depression, low mood, and Relationship difficulties.


References

Forsyth, J. P., & Eifert, G. H. (2016). The mindfulness and acceptance workbook for anxiety: A guide to breaking free from anxiety, phobias, and worry using acceptance and commitment therapy. New Harbinger Publications.

Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990) Full catastrophe living: Using the wisdom of your body and mind to face stress, pain, and illness. New York, NY: Delacorte.

Twohig, M. P., Hayes, S. C., & Masuda, A. (2006). Increasing willingness to experience obsessions: Acceptance and commitment therapy as a treatment for obsessive-compulsive disorder. Behavior therapy, 37(1), 3-13. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.beth.2005.02.001

Wegner, D. M., Broome, A., & Blumberg, S. J. (1997). Ironic effects of trying to relax under stress. Behaviour research and therapy, 35(1), 11-21. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0005-7967(96)00078-2


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