Have you ever had thoughts, feelings or acted in ways that were unacceptable to yourself but felt powerless to control? The purpose of this post is to help you find ways to manage your mind so that you can live your life more in accordance with what your own judgment says is best for you.
As we grow up, we gradually become aware of the many things in the external world which are largely beyond our ability to control. These include other people in general and most events in our lives. Initially this is difficult to accept, but a more shocking realization is that there are many things about ourselves that we seem powerless to control.
Some of these are our own thoughts, feelings, and actions which unfortunately can be the source of much distress. It may be thoughts such as “I cannot stop hating my boss for passing me over for a promotion.” It may involve an emotion e.g. “My girl friend left me and I cannot stop feeling sad, lonely and unloved.” It can also be in the form of a behavior such as the inability to control one's craving for food such as sweet deserts or constant snacking. “
But are we indeed really powerless to control our own maladaptive thoughts, feelings and actions? The following is an old Cherokee Indian story that I find enlightening and I hope you will find helpful as well.
One evening an old Cherokee told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people.
He said, "My son, the battle is between two wolves inside us all"
"It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego." He continued, "The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. The same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too."
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather, "Which wolf will win?"
The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed".
This story was sent to me by a dear old friend in Canada who despite medical difficulties, routinely sends me positive messages. The Cherokee are an aboriginal native group found in the Southeastern United States. As is common with oral historical narratives, there are various versions of this story.
The grandfather’s answer "The one you feed" is deceivingly simple. The results of psychological research indicate that there are at least four important concepts or ideas implied by the answer:
These four ideas give rise to a number of questions, some of which I have listed below. You might want to write down your answers in your own private journal or computer file protected by a password. The important thing is to take a quiet time to reflect on the questions and answer them as best you can. I hope that by taking time to do this, you will learn to better manage your mind, feelings, and actions and consciously feeding the good wolf in your.
I will discuss these points in future posts but if you have any immediate questions please send them to me in the comments section below and I will do my best to answer them.