Articles on Mental Health Issues and Resources by our Psychologists
Acceptance of Anxiety
Acceptance of anxiety is a concept that often runs counter to our instincts. In a society that values productivity, success, and a constant state of well-being, experiencing anxiety can feel like a personal failure or weakness. However, true acceptance ...
Read ArticleWhat are Learning Disabilities and how ...
Many children may struggle in school with certain topics or skills at times. When children work hard yet continue to struggle with a certain set of skills over time, it may indicate a learning disability. A learning disorder means that a child struggles ...
Read ArticleWhat is Cyberchondria and how can it ...
It is estimated that approximately 70% of adult Americans use the internet to obtain medical information. This information may provide some people with a sense of relief or a better understanding of their medical condition. For others, this information ...
Read ArticleUnderstanding Obsessive-Compulsive ...
Obsessions and compulsions affect everyone at some point in their lives. We usually check the stove or the locks twice. People also casually use the phrases "obsessing" and "obsessed" in everyday conversations. However, OCD is more severe.
Read ArticleA Positive Outlook during this ...
Being isolated during these difficult times is unquestionably an additional challenge. Not knowing how long this will last can also be unnerving. Even though a lot happening now is out of our control, we can focus on things that are important to us and ...
Read ArticleBeing a travelling Spouse and dealing ...
Changes are a main part of our life but if we have to deal with too many changes at a time, it can get quickly out of hand. We may face different physical and/or emotional symptoms such as: feeling tired and moody, anxious or being less motivated than ...
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The positive effects of a good listener ...
The variety of tools to communicate with each other allows us to stay connected for 24/7. However, we need to ask ourselves: ‘Do they really bring us any closer? Are we getting more connected through it?’
Read ArticleMiddle aged and worrying about memory ...
Of all mental faculties, memory is unique. It defines who we are and places our lives on a narrative continuum from birth to death. It helps to structure our days, it guides our daily tasks and goals, and it provides pleasurable interludes as we ...
Read ArticleAnthony Hopkins and Asperger's Condition
Sir Anthony Hopkins has achieved worldwide acclaim and fame for his lifelong acting career. However, not many are aware that his childhood and adult life was fraught with difficulties caused by Asperger’s condition.
Read ArticleHow to handle change in the workplace?
The 21st century has become over the years, more complex, more demanding. Where old structures and habits seem to fall apart, changes seem to determine our lives more often.
Read ArticleUnderstanding Borderline Personality ...
Personality Disorders are conditions where an individual experiences significant difficulty in the way they think, perceive, feel or relate to others. Such conditions typically worsen with stress or depression.
Read ArticleThe Self-Care Guide to taking better ...
Many of us take care of the needs of others more frequently and much better than we take care of our own needs. The purpose of this article is to provide a list of most of our self-care needs with some examples of how to satisfy them.
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Is your Child simply 'Lazy' or is there ...
Studies have shown that attribution of low motivation to laziness can mask specific learning, attention or emotional problems in children.
Read ArticleRethinking Attention Deficit ...
Recent research suggests a radical new conceptualization of ADHD: Do you have subclinical ADHD and are you receiving appropriate treatment?
Read ArticleGood Communication = Healthy ...
Many people enter into a relationship with the aim to find someone who is going to make them feel good. Finding the right partner and sustaining a healthy long term relationship can be one of the toughest challenges we face in our lives.
Read ArticleMaking the right choices
Life is stressful in modern times. Each one of us are multitasking to fit in the numerous demands of life daily. Often amidst the craziness of daily demands, life seems to spiral out control. We feel stressed, helpless, often wondering how we ended up ...
Read ArticleThe Art of Decisions Making - How to ...
The effectiveness and quality of our decision making is of central importance to our lives. This is highlighted by its very definition in the Oxford Dictionary of Psychology, which states that decision making is the "act or process of choosing a ...
Read ArticleControl Anger before it Controls You
Anger is one of the basic human emotions characterized by intense feelings of being antagonized or wronged (APA, 2015). Anger can sometimes be good, serving as the necessary motivation to remedy a situation. However, excessive anger can be detrimental to ...
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Increased mortality rate in ADHD: ...
A study just published online in the prestigious medical journal Lancet (Dalsgaard et al, 2015) has for first time obtained substantive evidence of an increased mortality rate in persons with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD).
Read ArticleWhy you should get a Diagnosis if you ...
Why do so many wait so long, and why does ADHD remain largely unassessed and untreated in the adult population?
Read ArticleUnderstanding Low Self-Esteem and how ...
A useful approach to recovering from the self-esteem problems often found in co-dependency is to understand the link between these self-esteem problems of adulthood and how they developed during early childhood.
Read ArticleGrieving: How do you cope with loss?
Grieving is painful, and not only for the person grieving, but for the griever's loved ones, family and friends. Unfortunately in modern society with its emphasis on speed and efficiency, some well-intentioned individuals who otherwise sympathize with ...
Read ArticleHow does one cope with ambiguous loss? ...
This article looks at how we can help those coping with an ambiguous loss such as is the case for the family and loved ones of those missing on MH370.
Read ArticleHow Journaling can Change your Life
Journaling is a way to improve your understanding of yourself. It provides a platform on which you can stand so that you can observe yourself. Self-knowledge, including discovering your strengths and weaknesses, your likes and dislikes is essential for ...
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Executive Function: What It Is and Why ...
One of the greatest scientific mysteries is how the human mind/brain functions. For example, how does a young child control his or her temper? How does a child manage to sit still in school and pay attention to what the teacher is saying? How do we ...
Read ArticleThe Fight Fair Contract
Couples commonly engage in arguments throughout the course of their relationship. Whether it's about sharing the household chores, forgetting to get the groceries or even where to go on a holiday. However, fights over small issues can sometimes snowball ...
Read ArticleAm I doing what I really, really, want ...
With clients who are dissatisfied with their lives and feel it is “all meaningless”, I have found it useful to ask "Are you doing what you really, really, want to do?" Initially many clients are a bit stunned by this question but then after a moment ...
Read ArticleIs there a relationship between ...
Codependency and adult attention deficit hyperactivity are special areas of clinical interest for me. Over the past couple of years, I had begun to notice that clients who initially had come for codependency treatment, frequently exhibited symptoms of ...
Read ArticleMaintaining Faithfulness in married ...
Whatever the reasons for becoming an expat, the expat's family is usually uprooted along with them to settle together in the foreign place. This can proof to be a stressful event to the family without factoring in the theme of this article
Read ArticleCoping with stress: What does love have ...
When life tries to slap us down, we instinctively turn to others for support particularly our intimate partners. Although this tendency to seek emotional support from loved ones to heal our wounds has long been recognized, it is only in the past couple ...
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3 Ways to Make yourself Happier and ...
"The joyfulness of a man prolongeth his days" ~ Ecclesiastes. Positive Psychology is an exciting and relatively new area of psychology. It aims to study scientifically what makes us humans happy and how we can improve our general level of happiness.
Read ArticleAre you an adult with Asperger’s ...
Spock from the famed television series Star Trek behaves like an Aspie (common abbreviation for person with AS) because he deals logically and shows no emotion with things that Dr McCoy, the space ship's medical doctor, sees as demanding a more emotional ...
Read ArticleWhat stops people with mental health ...
Why do so few people with mental health problems seek treatment? What can be done to improve the use of mental health services? Worldwide, a large majority of those with mental illness fail to receive adequate treatment and hence undergo unnecessary ...
Read ArticleHow can you help a family member or ...
As a practising psychologist in Singapore, I often receive calls from distraught family members asking what they can do if they have a family member or friend who they suspect is suffering from depression but who is reluctant to see a mental health ...
Read ArticleBook review of "My Voice: Overcoming"
My Voice: Overcoming is a remarkably well written and balanced portrayal of depression. In the preface, Seng Lee writes “It is not a natural choice for me to write on depression, since I am neither a writer by profession nor a medical expert on this ...
Read ArticleHow to improve your life by better ...
The purpose of this post is to provide a brief introduction to self-talk and how you can improve your life by becoming aware of your self-talk and how to make it more adaptive and positive.
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Benefits of Meditation and How to ...
What is meditation? Does practicing meditation daily really bring some benefits? How does one meditate?
Read ArticleOn narcissism: its history, definition ...
It is important to differentiate normal positive self-esteem from pathological narcissism. The tragic myth of Narcissus suggests the maladaptive quality that characterizes abnormal narcissism. The DSM-IV describes Narcissistic Personality Disorder as ...
Read ArticleThe psychology behind riots and ...
Recent news of widespread rioting and looting in several English cities has shocked most people both in England and the rest of the world. One widely reported video on TV was particularly disturbing and perhaps even more distressful to Asians, was that ...
Read ArticleHighlights from the Happiness and Its ...
The interview with the Dalai Lama this morning was the most outstanding event of the whole Happiness conference. It was electrifying when Dalai Lama Tenzin Gyatso walked on stage, slowly, and with a very slight stoop, perhaps revealing his 75 years but ...
Read ArticleHighlights from the Happiness and Its ...
The highlight of the day for me was the presentation by Dr. Jane Goodall one of the leading primatologists in the world. Jane Goodall told us that without a doubt the chimpanzees she has observed and worked with experience emotions such as happiness, ...
Read ArticleHighlights from the Happiness and Its ...
Today I attended the pre-conference workshop in Brisbane, Australia as part of the Happiness and Its Causes conference conducted by B. Alan Wallace, who is an expert in meditation having studied and practiced meditation for 40 years. He is able to ...
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How to recover from childhood trauma ...
Those of you who are regular readers of this blog know that its dominant theme is to help those who have been abused, traumatized, or neglected in childhood and consequently experience a variety of psychological (and sometimes physiological) problems in ...
Read ArticleHow to make your treatment for ...
I want to share with you some suggestions about how you can optimize the effectiveness of treatment for depression. These suggestions are based on both published research and from my experience as a psychotherapist and as someone who has had personal ...
Read ArticleTreatment of clinical depression
In a previous post I described the various ways depression can manifest itself and in today’s post I wish to focus on ways to cope with or treat clinical depression.
Read ArticleWhat causes depression?
Probably the most important reason for having an understanding of what causes depression is that it enables one to design the optimal treatment plan.
Read ArticleWhat you should know about depression ...
There are three important questions about depression which I often get asked in my clinical practice. In today's post I will answer the first question concerning how depression is defined.
Read ArticleHow you can use natural beauty to ...
Over 200 years ago, William Wordsworth alluded to the idea that nature has the power to restore our weary hearts and minds.In his poem 'Lines Composed a Few Miles above Tintern Abbey, On Revisiting the Banks of the Wye during a Tour, July 13, 1798', he ...
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Our innate bias to focus on the ...
Have you ever obsessed about the one critical comment someone made to you despite the fact that they also made quite a few positive remarks? For some reason you keep ruminating about that one negative remark.You think about it over and over, perhaps ...
Read ArticleThe story of the two wolves: How to ...
As we grow up, we gradually become aware that there are many things in the external world which we are largely unable to control including people in general and most events in our lives. Initially this is difficult to accept but an even more shocking ...
Read ArticleOnline help resources in Singapore if ...
I quite frequently receive heartbreaking requests from individuals who are in a painful relationship or marriage in which their mate is suffering from some kind of serious psychological problem such as alcoholism, gambling addiction etc.
Read ArticleHow to improve your knowledge and ...
"Oh wad some power the giftie gie us To see oursel's as others see us! It wad frae monie a blunder free us, And foolish notion" Although these lines were written by Robert Burns, Scotland's most famous and honored poet, over two hundred years ago, they ...
Read ArticleCodependence and the three As: ...
I first learned of the three A's, awareness, acceptance, and action from Alanon which is a wonderful self-help group for the family and friends of the alcoholic. Alanon suggests its members utilize the "Three A's" in dealing with the problems ...
Read ArticleHow to change a negative maladaptive ...
Before I went to sleep last night, I was reading Christine Baldwin's "Storycatcher" in which she proposes that we create the "story" of our life by selecting certain memories and then linking them together to form a coherent narrative.
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How to move yourself and others from ...
A good example of Reflexive (reactive) Responding occurs when we quickly and automatically pull our hand from a hot stove. Such reflex actions can be highly adaptive and protect us from injury or even death.
Read ArticleTen ways to improve your relationship ...
Imagine the following scenario. One member of a committed couple arrives home 45 min late. The other member of the couple who spent hours preparing a nice meal feels unappreciated and angrily snaps "Why are you so late?"
Read ArticleSelf-help groups: further description ...
History of self-help groups. In order to understand the nature of self help groups it is useful to know a bit about their history. The first and the most successful self help group is Alcoholics Anonymous (AA).
Read ArticleHow not to win friends and influence ...
In 1936, Dale Carnegie wrote the classic self-help book "How to Win Friends and Influence People". It is still an extremely useful book, one of the best sellers of all time, and one which I often recommend to my clients. In this article I will talk about ...
Read ArticleCodependence recovery: Information ...
One of the many ways, but a critically important way, that people recover from codependency is by attending therapeutic workshops given by experts in the field and designed to help the recovery process. In this post I will share with you the names of ...
Read ArticleIs love for somewhere you previously ...
Sometimes memories of enjoyable and rewarding attachments in the past interfere with forming similar positive attachments in the present. This post is about psychological strategies to prevent such maladaptive memories of places where we have lived in ...
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Self-help groups and starting a CODA ...
In past posts I have described codependency and how it affects the lives of many. My personal experience is that one of the most powerful ways codas are helped is by becoming an active member of a Coda self-help group. In this post I want to provide some ...
Read ArticleWays to increase your valuing of your ...
Many people who are codependent (coda) do not value and love themselves, their Self, because they have learned in their family of origin that they were of little value or even worse that they were bad. Fortunately there are various ways of learning to ...
Read ArticleIntroduction to codependence
In this initial entry I want to introduce you to the topic of co-dependence which I feel is a valid and useful approach to helping people. I also use it because there are many resources available to help people recover from the effects of co-dependence ...
Read ArticleInfidelity
One of the most painful events that can happen in a committed relationship such as marriage is to discover that your partner has been intimate with someone else. If this has happened to you, or you are the unfaithful partner, let me assure you that there ...
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Psychology Bilbliography and Resources for Clients
Self-Compassion
Germer, C.K. (2009). The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion. New York: Guilford Press. This is an excellent introduction not only to mindfulness but its use to increase compassion for oneself.
Men's Health and Sexuality
In 2007, Dr.Scott gave a presentation on Men's Health and Sexuality at Gleneagles Hospital. Subjects like how men can adapt to health and sexual issues brought about by aging were discussed.
Positive psychology
1 .
You may find it useful to do the VIA Signature Strengths Test which measures 24 Character Strengths. Print out top five strengths and bring to next session for discussion
2 .
Seligman, Martin (1994) What You Can Change and What You Cannot Change. Knopf, NY
3 .
Seligman, Martin (2204). Authentic Happiness : Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment(Paperback).
Mindfulness
1 .
Germer, C.K. (2009). The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion. New York: Guilford Press. This is an excellent introduction not only to mindfulness but its use to increase compassion for oneself.
2 .
A New Earth by Eckhart Tolle Plume (Penguin) 2005
3 .
Peaceful mind: Using mindfulness and cognitive behavioural psychology to overcome depression By John McQuaid and Paula Carmona. New Harbinger. 2004
Depression
1 .
Mind over Mood: Change how you feel by changing the way you think. Dennis Greenberger, and Christine Padesky. Guilford Press, 1995.
2 .
Peaceful mind: Using mindfulness and cognitive behavioural psychology to overcome depression By John McQuaid and Paula Carmona. New Harbinger. 2004
3 .
Control your depression. (1992) Peter M. Lewinsohn (Editor) Publisher: Simon & Schuster Mind Over Mood" by Dennis Greenberger and Christine Padesky, Guillford Press 1995
4 .
Feeling Good and/or the Feeling Good Handbook, by David D. Burns.
5 .
Go to the website: The Depression Center
Attachment
Levine, Amir and Heller, Rachel 2010. Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find—and Keep—Love
Alcohol and Addictions
1 .
We CARE. A centre here in Singapore for self-help groups of various kinds including Sex and Love Addicts Annonymous. (also Alanon and Alcoholics Anonymous). Phone 6547 5459.
2 .
The Alcohol Help Center: an online tool for problem drinkers.
Codependence: Recovering from a dysfunctional family of origin
1 .
Germer, C.K. (2009). The Mindful Path to Self-Compassion. New York: Guilford Press. This is an excellent introduction not only to mindfulness but its use to increase compassion for oneself.
2 .
Codependent No More. 1987 Melodie Beattie Harper/Hazeldon
3 .
Facing Codependence (1989). Pia Mellody San Francisco: Harper.
4 .
Breaking Free: A Recovery Workbook for Facing Codependence 1989 Pia Mellody (and Andrea Wells Miller)
5 .
Facing Love Addiction 1992 Pia Mellody
6 .
Healing the Shame that Binds You (1988) John Bradshaw, Health Communications, Deerfield Beach Florida
7 .
Bradshaw on the Family 1996 John Bradshaw
8 .
Homecoming: Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child 1992 John Bradshaw
9 .
Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller
Anxiety and panic problems
Journaling
1 .
Baldwin, Christina, (1991). One to One: Self-understanding through journal writing. Publisher: M. Evans; Lanham, Maryland.
2 .
Adams, Kathleen. (1990) Journal to the self: 22 paths to personal growth. Warner Books, NY, NY.
Growing up with a mother suffering from serious mental problems such as depression, narcissism, manic depressive illness, schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder
1 .
Children of the Self-Absorbed by Nina Brown
2 .
Personal History by Katherine Graham
3 .
Why Is It Always About You? by Sandra Hotchkiss.
4 .
An Unquiet Mind by Kay Redfield Jamison
5 .
Drama of the Gifted Child/ by Alice Miller
Couple and Marital Therapy
1 .
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work -- by John Gottman, Nan Silver; Orion, Paperback
2 .
The Relationship Cure: A Five-Step Guide to Strengthening Your Marriage, Family, and Friendships John, Gottman, et al; Paperback
3 .
The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You -- by Elaine N. Aron; Paperback
4 .
The Highly Sensitive Person in Love: Understanding and Managing Relationships When the World Overwhelms You by Elaine N., Ph.D. Aron (Paperback,2001)
5 .
Getting the Love You Want: a guide for couples. Harville Hendrix 1988 Henry Holt Publisher
6 .
The Truth About Love. Pat Love, A Fireside Book, 2001.
7 .
The Betrayal Bond. Patrick Carnes
8 .
Parenting From the Inside Out (Paperback) by Daniel Siegel (Author), Mary Hartzell (Author)
9 .
Drama of the Gifted Child by Alice Miller
10 .
The Couple's Fight Fair Contract
Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder
1 .
Hallowell, E. M., & Ratey, J. J. (1994). Driven to Distraction. New York: Pantheon Books.
2 .
Edward M. Hallowell, John J. Ratey. (2005). Delivered from Distraction: Getting the Most out of Life with Attention Deficit Disorder.
3 .
The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. Stephen Covey, Simon and Schuster, Pocket Books.
4 .
5 .
Self-help group SPARK
6 .
How to Meditate: A Guide to Self-Discovery by Lawrence LeShan
Infidelity
1 .
Lusterman, DD. (1998). Infidelity: A survival guide. Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications.
2 .
Abrahms spring, J. (1997). After the affair: Healing the pain and rebuilding trust when a partner has been unfaithful. New York: Harper Collins.
3 .
Pittman, F. (1989). Private lies: Infidelity and the betrayal of intimacy. New York: Norton.
Tapes, videos and books by Pia Mellody
Visit The Meadows website or write to The Meadows, 1655 N. Tegner St., Wickenburg, AZ 85390. info@themeadows.org.
Tapes, videos and books by John Bradshaw
Visit John Bradshaw's website or write: Bradshaw Cassettes, P.O.Box 720947, Houston,Texas 77272 USA